Homeschool mom asks niece to teach illiterate 9-year-old daughter who can't add single digit numbers: 'I don't think 4 hours once a week is enough at all'

Author image for Emmy Pratt
Emmy Pratt • Senior Editor
Apr 12, 2024 6:00 PM EDT

One of the biggest arguments coming from the pro-homeschooling camp is that kids shouldn't have to sit and be quiet for 7 hours a day. It is a little insane that we ask 6 and 7-year-olds to conform to a schedule that mirrors that of a full-time job. While it's highly demanding in concept, it's not like 1st graders are sitting at desks and listening to orations for hours on end. When I was in first grade, I had recess, music class, playtime, and storytime. Sure, I was also learning basic math and writing, but there were a lot of fun activities included. 

When you homeschool, you're often losing some of those hours that would've been occupied with some activity at public school. That's not inherently bad, but if your kid is only getting 4 hours of proper schooling a week, they're in trouble. One 9-year-old who couldn't pass 1st grade twice is in the predicament of getting virtually no schooling for her entire life. 

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  • 01
    r/homeschool u/gertrude-fashion • 3d Homeschooling once a week...please help! Help!
    via u/gertrude-fashion
  • 02
    I have been asked to tutor my younger cousin. She is nine and I am twenty-five, for context. She has been "homeschooled" for a while, but her mother has admitted to me that they haven't tried much school work. My understanding is that she had to repeat first grade, and after repeating still did not pass. They then took her out of school and haven't done much schooling since. Their doctor gave her ADHD medication, but her mother struggles to use it consistently.
    via u/gertrude-fashion
  • 03
    I've taken her to the store some and have seen that she doesn't know single digit addition. She cannot read at all, but she can sound out her letters. Before having been asked to tutor, I expressed some concern about this. Being uneducated is hard at this level, I don't want her to have a hard life, especially when it really doesn't need to be that way.
    via u/gertrude-fashion
  • 04
    They recently asked me to tutor her for four hours a week and to send her home with a little work to do at home. Basically, four hours week will be her exclusive education through me, and whatever practice she does with the work I send her.
    via u/gertrude-fashion
  • 05
    I'm worried. I used to be a substitute teacher at our local public schools. I was homeschooled myself and would like to homeschool my kids. But this situation is unique to me. I'm not sure how to assess what level she's at, where to start, etc. I definitely don't want to discourage her. She's very insecure about her reading and math.
    via u/gertrude-fashion
  • 06
    Homeschool community - what would you do if you were me? Where would you start? I'm looking for guidance, but please try not to express too much judgement. This is not a situation I have control over at all.
    via u/gertrude-fashion
  • 07
    Willow0812 • 3d Start at the basics. Get some kindergarten level work pages or a workbook and start there. Also, it may take a while to see what she responds best to in terms of learning style. Try out some online programs like ABC Mouse, Prodigy math, Reading Eggs or Reading A to Z (Raz Kids). Most of those are free or at least have a trial. ... Reply ✩ 41
    via u/Willow0812
  • 08
    Foraze_Lightbringer • 3d Ooooof. What a hard situation. Thank you for being there for her while her parents neglect her education. There's a part of me that wonders if CPS should get involved, but as someone so completely outside the situation, I won't push that part of things. My advice would be to focus on reading and do a little math. Once she gets to the point where she can read independently at and above grade level, it will be a lot easier for her to catch up on other subjects like science
    via u/Foraze_Lightbringer
  • 09
    If you can get the audio for Story of the World (available on CDs and audible), she could listen to them on her own. (They're better when you supplement with the narration, discussion questions, map work, etc, but listening to the information is a good place to start if she's been getting nothing.) The old Magic School Bus show could be a way to supplement science at home. Again, not a great stand-alone, but better than nothing. Reply 31
    via u/Foraze_Lightbringer
  • 10
    gertrude-fashion OP • 3d I used to LOVE Magic School Bus! Great idea! | haven't heard of story of the world, but it sounds very nice as well! As far as CPS goes...I guess I'm not sure what they would do. My mom used to work as a social worker and it's apparently not all that easy to get your kids taken away. Additionally, I'm not sure the parents or the child would ever forgive me. My goal is to see her read, write, and do basic math. I'd love to see that for her. Without those skills, she could
    via u/gertrude-fashion
  • 11
    dbandroid 3d . Your cousin is 9 years old and can't read or do simple addition. This is going to lead to devastating life long consequences unless she can catch up and her parents have a moral and legal obligation to do what they can in order to provide a reasonable education to their children. No matter how nice and loving and kind they are to their daughter, her parents have neglected her education. This is one of the exact situations that child protective services can be useful for and it doe
    via u/dbandroid
  • 12
    hopefu11s0ul • 3d Really? Her school couldn't get her through first grade TWICE and didn't bother to look into learning disabilities after the first failure? Should we call CPS on them, too? I said good job to a parent who has put her child's mental health first. 4
    via u/h0pefu11s0ul
  • 13
    dbandroid 3d • The child is 9 years old and can't read. This is not putting the child first in any way shape or form. If the family had been able to adequately homeschool her, then great. That's a win for everyone involved. But they have not been able to adequately homeschool her and have seemingly given up except for 4 hours a week. Every child deserves an education whether their parents are willing or able to given them. one. Parents do not have the right to deprive their child of that. 6
    via u/dbandroid
  • 14
    Foraze_Lightbringer • 3d My only interaction with CPS/DCFS has been as a foster parent, so my personal experience is limited, but my understanding is that they could investigate and if they determine educational neglect is going on, could help the parents find resources to help educate their child or possibly require an alternate educational option (ie: public or private school). But, things are going to be different in every state. And every department is so completely overworked and understaff
    via u/Foraze_Lightbringer
  • 15
    MomsClosetVC. 3d Reading and Math probably need to be your main focus when you have one on one time with her. You won't get far in the other subjects without those. If she has ADHD you may need to take frequent breaks, let her have a fidget, things like that. I wonder how her fine motor skills are if she hasn't been at school writing. There are OT activities that can help build those. Some of the sites others have mentioned like Prodigy Math or ABCYa that turn it into games could be great for he
    via u/MomsClosetVC
  • 16
    If her mom is having trouble giving her the ADHD consistently, I wonder if her mom may have ADHD herself? I have to set phone reminders for myself to get everyone in my house medicated that needs to be. If you were to find resources like different websites, youtube videos, worksheets, etc, and put them together, do you think you could get her mom to put in more effort at home? Otherwise it does sound like educational neglect, but if mom just needs help putting it all together then maybe you can
    via u/MomsClosetVC
  • 17
    gertrude-fashion OP. 3d Her mom actually does have ADHD too! Nice catch, lol! She said she can't teach her because she can't focus either. As much as I understand that, I wish they had thought of that before taking her out of school. Great idea about a YouTube playlist for at home. I may also look into doing some research on what I can do to make the lessons more "ADHD" friendly. ... 13
    via u/gertrude-fashion
  • 18
    lyrasorial • 3d There's never a "too late" to go back to regular school. If Mom said she "can't teach her" she needs to send her back. She's not homeschooling, she's babysitting. ... ← 4 7 3
    via u/lyrasorial
  • 19
    akifyre24 • 3d I homeschool my autistic kiddo who I'm pretty sure has ADHD as well. We're getting a diagnosis. Routine is so very important for the neural divergent person. I'm concerned that once a week isn't at all enough to develop the skills she needs. If the parents are outsourcing her education to you for a single four hour period a week, I'm positive they're not going to work with her throughout the week. They've shown that they already won't. My kiddo needs me to be there with him otherw
    via u/akifyre24
  • 20
    My kiddo needs me to be there with him otherwise he'll just wander off and do something that gives him a much bigger dose of dopamine. My kiddo is extremely intelligent. He's hyperlexic and taught himself to read and write. If he's interested in a subject, he'll learn it as easily as breathing. He knows how to use what he learns also. But if it's not something he's interested in, it can be a struggle for him. I need to break it into smaller bites with frequent breaks. This takes effort and parti
    via u/akifyre24
  • 21
    gertrude-fashion OP. 3d I found out they have no school books for her, so yes, the four hour session will be all she has. I don't think four hours once a week is enough at all. I'm very worried and feel a lot of pressure. I know this is all they're willing to do time wise. I worry about focus for her as well. She has free access to the internet, so she's used to fast paced, all-fun style content with no breaks. I'm willing to do anything, but I'm not a professional. For now, all I can do is my b
    via u/gertrude-fashion
  • 22
    I've taken her to the store some and have seen that she doesn't know single digit addition. She cannot read at all, but she can sound out her letters. Before having been asked to tutor, I expressed some concern about this. Being uneducated is hard at this level, I don't want her to have a hard life, especially when it really doesn't need to be that way.
    via 🇸🇮 Janko Ferlič

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